Writing about a music video

In this writing below I was writing in 1st person of a girl in the music video Happier By Marshmello and Bastille. The task we were set was to write in 1st person of the dog or human.

I was having a very hectic birthday, everyone was running around and shouting then, the cake came out and then right when I went to blow it out my friend ran over and blew the candles out so I couldn't. I slowly began to feel a tear drip down my face until my uncle walked over with a box in his hands then I opened it and there was a yellow bow. I was still sad because it was only a bow. He came back with really cute fluffy labrador then as my uncle was giving the dog to me it started licking my face when I felt a lot happier that day. My uncle took a picture of me and my pet we also put my height on the door frame with the dog's height too. As time went on we got toys and a bed for him.

When I was 15 years old we had our heights put on the door frame, later that day I had football training at school everyone was being chosen beside me then I got put into a team. When I got home I started playing with my ball with my dog. The next day we had our team photo taken and I was supposed to be in the middle holding the ball then my team pushed me out, then the guy that was taking the photo told me to smile, and I did but then everyone started laughing at my braces so then I went home and laid down on the couch. My dog was scratching at the dog so I let him in then he could tell that I was sad about my braces and I put my hand over my mouth when he tried to pull my hand away

Overall I liked doing this because we got to write about something different.